because hollywood lied....
Most of what you've been told about relationships is wrong. "Happy ever after" is really just the beginning and as the romance is replaced with real life things can start to feel hard.
You and your partner love each other - but add in the demands of parenting, career and keeping your mental health in good shape - there's a lot to juggle.
The good news is that, however hard you're finding things right now, you've got everything to play for. You were made to love and be loved.
Love Map helps you find your way through the tricky territory of intimate, long term relating. You'll discover more laughter, more cuddles, a deeper physical connection and confidence when times are tough.
What you'll Learn on the retreat
Myth busting: why Hollywood lied and most of what you think you know about relationships isn’t true
What’s really driving the conflict in your relationship (hint: it isn’t your mother in law)
What to do when you/they/everyone gets triggered
Playful ways to connect when you don’t feel like having fun
Resourcing yourself and your partnership: what support looks like and how to build it in to your daily life
How you’ll learn
“Roma and Alice deconstruct exactly what is happening emotionally, mentally and biologically when difficulties arise”.
We’re known for making the science really useable. We’ll talk you through what’s happening in your brain and body and then show you what to do so you have more freedom to relate in healthy, satisfying ways.
You’ll work mostly with your partner to learn and practice tools that you’ll want to take straight home into your day to day lives.
For some activities you'll partner up with other retreatants or work in small groups.
You’ll get the chance to air what’s hard about your relationship and break down the sense of isolation around this by hearing from others in confidential container.
What the days look like:
We’ve made sure you get time to rest, relax, be together and integrate alongside what you’re learning, so we’ve tried to make the programme as spacious as possible.
We'll share an evening meal on Friday and Saturday and lunch on Sunday.
You will have Saturday afternoon off to forage lunch in one of Frome’s many eateries, explore the town and take an (almost compulsory) snuggle nap back at your lodgings before joining us for tea and our afternoon/evening session at 4pm.
The retreat runs from 6pm on Friday to 4pm on Sunday.
FAQs: things you might have been wondering.....
Can I pay in installments?
Yes! You can pay in full for the cheapest price or spread the cost over four months. Early Bird pricing ends on 15th October so book now to get the best value. Click here to go our bookings page.
Is accommodation included?
22 Catherine Hill is a boutique 2 bedroom flat over 2 floors. We'll use the ground floor as our main space for the sessions and one couple will have the option of staying in the larger of the two bedrooms. You can also stay at one of two other flats a stone's throw from the venue, or book your own Air BnB.
Can we talk to you about whether this will be a good fit for us?
If you've read through the FAQs and still have questions, please feel free to book in for a quick chat with us, You can do that here.
Will I have to talk about my feelings in front of other people?
Yes, and only if you want to. Part of the work we do is around letting our emotional brains do their thing - because we know that we can think better when we do. Partner and group listening is an integral part of Love Map and you’ll be paired up with other participants to offload some of the stress you’re feeling about your relationship, or life in general.
Will this really make a difference?
"We could barely look at each other during the first session, but after a couple of weeks our connection was off the scale!"
We know that when things are hard it can feel like nothing works. Love Map is tailored to help you specifically around conflict and shutdown - those places which feel particularly hard to get past. When you use these tools, it “flips the switch” and suddenly you’re in the right territory for relating, which allows everything to flow better. You'll also be given a PDF guide to keep which will help you use the exercises again when you get home.
I really want to do this but my partner isn’t so sure.
It’s really common for one member of the partnership to be more enthusiastic. Overall, we can promise more laughing, less arguing, and probably more sex as a result of doing this process. Just sayin'. We recommend that you join our free call together and see how you find the experience. Alternatively, you can book in a consult with us to get a feel for whether this might be right for where you are right now.
We’ve been struggling/thinking about breaking up/are already separated. Is this right for us?
We’re sorry you’re having a hard time in your relationship right now. It’s great that you’re seeking out solutions. We welcome couples who are finding things hard. Love Map can be transformative for times of stress. All we ask is that you come with an open mind and prepared to participate fully in the activities we offer.
The tools will help you find connection so that you can both think better and decide what to do going forward. Rather than diagnosing the “problem” we’ll help you reconnect, remember what is important about your relationship and set norms for how you deal with the difficult conversations. These pieces can be transformative in helping you navigate the trickier waters of relationship, whether you decide ultimately to stay together or not.
We recommend that you book in a preliminary meet with us online (see the link above) to make sure that this is right for you and your partner at this moment.
I’m nervous about being vulnerable with strangers.
One of the ways men and women have been oppressed by patriarchy is in shaming of feelings as weakness. This can really drive a wedge in terms of intimacy. It can feel unbearable to be seen in those more fragile places, because we’ve been hurt there before. Love Map knows that it’s not always easy to “go there”, and this can be especially the case for the menfolk. We hold this gently, with no expectation to do or be one thing or another.
I don’t want to air my dirty laundry in public.
Love Map is about nourishing your relationship with your partner. You will be given space to work on the more difficult aspects of your relationships but this work is confidential, you won’t do this in front of your partner, it will be led by you and you can say as much or as little as you like.
I don’t want the touchy feely stuff I just want solutions!
This is perfect for you. Love Map is all about learning proven techniques to “flip the switch” in difficult moments. You’ll feel really resourceful, and like you’ve got your man/woman, with these tools in your pocket.
Will we talk about sex?
We’re not sex therapists or couples counsellors (though Roma has a counselling qualification and Alice is an NLP practitioner). You’re welcome to raise the topic of sex, but we’re not teaching specifically on sex in LoveMap. Our focus is on connection - what happens in your brain and body when you feel safe and loved or disconnected. Much of this expertise is applicable in the bedroom, but we’re not working specifically on your sex life here, and we won’t be getting groovy in the sessions (that’s what the down time is for, if you so desire).
Is this group therapy?
Mostly you’ll be working with your loved one. You will experience group listening as part of the LoveMap process, as a chance to be seen and heard, and witness others who are facing similar challenges. You and your beloved will be in separate groups for this. Unlike group therapy, the listening container we set means that participants do not feedback, advise or in any way comment on anything someone shares. We find this keeps things feeling safe and is the most effective way of generating connection and confidence in everyone.
Still need to know more?